I've been without social media for like a week.

I feel like I live in the African Congo.

I broke today and logged into Facebook and Twitter. BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

I'm trying to stay super patient and be willing to accept whatever happens next week. NEXT WEEK. I WANNA DIE.

I've basically given myself two weeks to know everything in the universe. That's horrible to admit and if you're thinking "she's gonna fail again" well...I can't say I blame you. Cause I've thought it a lot too.

Anyway, I needed to be in touch with the world. I needed to feel like people haven't forgotten about me.

I don't know if I can actually express in words how ready I am to move on with my life. Anddddd I guess I just did.


Oh Summery Judgment, how terribly neglected you are.

There are tons of stories that swirl around in my head. Things I'd like to share with all of you. Crazy stuff that happens to me in cashier-land, funny things Coco does, fears about THE TEST, etc. But somehow it never makes it on here.

I almost feel obligated, of sorts, to keep this up. I know there are several people out there who are going through an "I failed the bar exam" crisis and are looking for an outlet. More so than answer.com would say "You won't fail the bar, all you have to make is a D!"

Its ok, I've been there.

Several times.

Still, life moves on. In the process you may have to make decisions about your life. Is this really what you want to do? Is your heart leading you in a different career direction? (Confession...before I typed "career" I typed "job." There's a lesson in that I think.)

I get emails from time to time from people who say they read my blog and are thinking about me/praying for me, etc. Its very encouraging and I'm hoping they get a bit of encouragement here as well. I've never tried to mask what I feel...I've felt everything from rage to peace about this whole ride. I think that's important.

I met with my old tutor briefly on Saturday to get some tips about my essay writing. Basically, the first 20 minutes were devoted to him yelling at me about what I haven't done. (He gets me.) (Also: this is a good thing.) The reason this tutor works is because he basically gets down to the basics of everyone's issues and he hones in on them until you can't hide behind it anymore. Its fascinating, really. Anyway, my biggest problems are not organizing well enough, writing WAY TOO DANG MUCH, and not getting the buzzwords in. (CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE TO DISCUSS HOW MUCH I HATE THE WORD "BUZZWORD")

I'm thankful I only have to pass one part (one tiny glimmer of goodness from the state of Florida) and am praying I can get that magical 136 when I only have one section to depend on. Frankly the FL section terrifies me, and I'd much rather only have the MBE to tackle, but whatevs.

I put in my time off yesterday. I'm asking for essentially 3 weeks. I know its a long shot but good grief, I can't take this test anymore. I admitted to my boss this was my 5th try. Super embarrassing. I told her I have to pass. No more chances.

For today, however, I'm working. And thankful for the little tiny pay checks that have begun to roll in. The Lord is doing something huge here....I don't know what, but good grief, I'll be glad when I finally find out what it is.