10.30.2011

My place + running

Husband set me up a place in our tiny office for me. In the past its mostly been his space, plus and extra table for me to dump my junk at. (Y'ALL WE LIVE IN THE SMALLEST TOWNHOUSE ON THE PLANET AND HAVE NO PLACE TO STORE ALL OUR VERY SUPER IMPORTANT JUNK.) Its nice though. All my pretty diplomas and awards and junk up no the wall. We got some more storage containers (which he spray painted black and look great, I must say) and everything looks nice. We tried to stick with black accented stuff in the office instead of brown. I always felt like brown was a very particular color. Can be touch to match. Black is easy. So black it is.

I'm getting prepared to get back to studying. I'm going out on a (very expensive) limb and picking up a tutor this time around. I clearly need help. Which sucks because I've never "clearly needed help" in my academic life, ever. If I don't get some help though, I'm completely headed for defeat. As much as I don't like admitting it, I need someone to fix this mess.

I contacted a few different people, some in Florida, some not. I've decided to go with a tutor out of New York. I know I need a lot of help with MBE stuff and writing. I think I'm writing ok (flows, sounds good), I just know I'm not pointing out enough stuff.

I'm oddly looking forward to it--I'm just deathly terrified because its so expensive!! I'm so scared that I'm going to spend a ton of money on this dang tutor and still fail again. Any longer and I'm going to spend what I spent on tuition on freaking studying for and taking this dumb test so many times.

Not going to be negative. Nope. Started running again and the endorphins have really helped my mood. I'm not even a runner. I just turned on the treadmill, put on an Office episode, and before I knew it I had ran for a mile and didn't even realize it. It was great. I'm like the slowest runner ever and my face gets really red, but pushing myself like that has really made me feel like I can do stuff. I keep seeing all these dumb motivational running posters all over Pinterest:
"the only one stopping you is you"
"I wanted to quit because I was suffering, that wasn't a good enough reason"
"everything you're running away from is in your head"
"someone who is busier than you is running right now"

Anyway. Our church has started this group thing where we meet at the church one day a week for a short devotional and then we talk about one fitness topic and then go to a local walking park to start training for a 5K. BC and I are doing it because it is something fun to do together, free, and we get to associate with other church members and worship a bit in the process. HOWEVER: I am very self-conscious running in front of other people I know. We have some very fit people that go to church with us. Very fit, trim, thin. I told one of the teachers today that if I show up on Tuesday and its a bunch of skinny people I'm NOT coming back. She laughed. I wasn't kidding.

5 comments:

Tree Hugging (Almost) Attorney said...

Can I ask what you've tried before for bar prep?
I took Barbri last time - and came up 2 points short.
A friend of mine is sending me her Kaplan stuff for MBE - so I'll have that too - and I picked up a highly-rated MBE strategy book as well. I looked at tutoring - but haven't taken the plunge. Did you talk to Legally Fabulous? Did it help her? Right now I'm so scared of having to do this again that it's almost paralyzing. I need a gameplan. Stat.
PS: I need to start working out instead of eating.

Legally Fabulous said...

Proud of you.

Anonymous said...

Hey there, Snarky here.

You're awesome! I totally support hiring a tutor. I did for my 2nd time around and, although I literally couldn't keep the heat on in my house because it cost so much, the tutor really helped me see the patterns in the written portions (there's a formula for essays in general, and a formula for each topic! Who knew?!?!). I forgot all about the cold winter when my name appeared on the pass list.

Also, this is my favorite: "Someone who is busier than you is running right now." I say it to myself every time I try to drive past my running spot because I really need to make some phone calls and I didn't pre-make dinner and I don't like the running outfit I have with me and BLAH BLAH BLAH. I'm glad you're running again. It will help.

Jane said...

I think running will help with the studying and the stress and the worry. Especially right now when the temps are becoming so very pleasant. So many times when I get out for a run and my mind is full of things that seem bleak, when I'm finished running they don't seem so bad....fixable even or just not worth all the worry I'd been putting into them. Great time to pray too and remind yourself of all the reasons you are so thankful. I think that alone will give your mind some peace and allow your study time to be even more effective. So don't you think about pace or skinny people. You get out there and get after it!

And I am SO JEALOUS of the church fitness group thing! I want to come! Is it with Jenks Ave or are you going somewhere else now?

elwoods17 said...

So impressive you are able to pick yourself up and be determined so quickly. I am still so sad about not passing for 2nd time. So, I need help with MBE and writing too...I am looking at these expensive prep courses and there a jillion of them! Could you refer me to your tutor? Maybe give me his info? I am desperate and am at the point same as you where I KNOW I NEED help! Pleaseeee! ninalvaldez@gmail.com