Husband set me up a place in our tiny office for me. In the past its mostly been his space, plus and extra table for me to dump my junk at. (Y'ALL WE LIVE IN THE SMALLEST TOWNHOUSE ON THE PLANET AND HAVE NO PLACE TO STORE ALL OUR VERY SUPER IMPORTANT JUNK.) Its nice though. All my pretty diplomas and awards and junk up no the wall. We got some more storage containers (which he spray painted black and look great, I must say) and everything looks nice. We tried to stick with black accented stuff in the office instead of brown. I always felt like brown was a very particular color. Can be touch to match. Black is easy. So black it is.
I'm getting prepared to get back to studying. I'm going out on a (very expensive) limb and picking up a tutor this time around. I clearly need help. Which sucks because I've never "clearly needed help" in my academic life, ever. If I don't get some help though, I'm completely headed for defeat. As much as I don't like admitting it, I need someone to fix this mess.
I contacted a few different people, some in Florida, some not. I've decided to go with a tutor out of New York. I know I need a lot of help with MBE stuff and writing. I think I'm writing ok (flows, sounds good), I just know I'm not pointing out enough stuff.
I'm oddly looking forward to it--I'm just deathly terrified because its so expensive!! I'm so scared that I'm going to spend a ton of money on this dang tutor and still fail again. Any longer and I'm going to spend what I spent on tuition on freaking studying for and taking this dumb test so many times.
Not going to be negative. Nope. Started running again and the endorphins have really helped my mood. I'm not even a runner. I just turned on the treadmill, put on an Office episode, and before I knew it I had ran for a mile and didn't even realize it. It was great. I'm like the slowest runner ever and my face gets really red, but pushing myself like that has really made me feel like I can do stuff. I keep seeing all these dumb motivational running posters all over Pinterest:
"the only one stopping you is you"
"I wanted to quit because I was suffering, that wasn't a good enough reason"
"everything you're running away from is in your head"
"someone who is busier than you is running right now"
Anyway. Our church has started this group thing where we meet at the church one day a week for a short devotional and then we talk about one fitness topic and then go to a local walking park to start training for a 5K. BC and I are doing it because it is something fun to do together, free, and we get to associate with other church members and worship a bit in the process. HOWEVER: I am very self-conscious running in front of other people I know. We have some very fit people that go to church with us. Very fit, trim, thin. I told one of the teachers today that if I show up on Tuesday and its a bunch of skinny people I'm NOT coming back. She laughed. I wasn't kidding.