Something to look forward to :)

What do

and

have in common???

ME!!!!!!!!!


BC bought me tickets to go see Lady GaGa in concert in Raleigh on September 19th! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Yes, I like Lady Gaga. She is ridiculous and awesome and amazing and doesn't care what anyone thinks.  I saw an interview with her and she said that she never wants to stop touring. She said she should probably take a break but she is doing her dream job, every day, sharing her music with jillions of people and she never wants to ever stop touring. (That and the cash, I'm sure.) REGARDLESS, I respect that.


I'm so freakin' excited I just can't wait! Also, bar results come out the very next day. Ugh. Which means the drive home from NC could be either very good or very bad. But at that point, my life will be super awesome and cool, and I'm hoping I forget what day it is.


For now, I'm laying on the couch drinking orange juice and reading about FL Corporation. *sigh* Sad day. The fun will come again....I just have to get past all the nonsense first.

And wedding update: Nothing has been done, I don't know whats going on, blah, blah, blah. We're just all going to show up to the church in November and see what happens from there.

Happy Father's Day!

I have to take a little time out for a shout out to my Dad for Father's Day!

I have been very blessed with a wonderful father who is so very patient with me! He always did what he could to provide for our family, but would always step away from the work and drop everything if we needed him. I have tons of examples swirling around in my head of when he just dropped everything and came to either my or my Mom's aid.

In church this morning, the preacher discussed how some people have a difficult time creating a relationship with the Lord because their relationships with their own fathers are so damaged, or don't exist at all. I'm so thankful for a Dad who loved me completely and was always there for me, because it provided a foundation for when I began to build my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

Then I took all of those traits from all through the years when I was looking for my future husband. And I found him. Or he found me.

And now as I prepare to start my new life with BC, I know I'm grounded, from both of my parents, of how I want my relationship with my husband to look like.

I hope everyone took a minute to hug their Dad today! I did, and then I hugged my Mom for picking a good one :)

Daydreamin'

I keep thinking about what its going to be like.

When July 28th rolls around, when I hear that time is up. When Question #100 has been answered for the third and FINAL time in that two day timespan.

When I'm driving back to the hotel, thinking that all I can do now is wait.

When I go to sleep like that night, knowing its all over.

When I wake up and wander out to the beach...lay on the sand and let the sound of the waves completely take over my thoughts for the first time in three years.

When I get back to my house and put away all the bar review stuff, up in the closet, and completely out of sight and out of mind.

When I get to go back to work and actually WORK...because I'm *gasp* actually looking forward to it.

When I get my results...




Its all a bit overwhelming. Now that I'm not working, I feel a load off my shoulders and I can concentrate on all this like I'm supposed to. But beyond that, in 41 days, just 41, my life will be so incredibly different. 41 seems so short. Three years ago, June/July 2010 seemed like an eternity away. And now, here it is. I can't believe how fast time has flown. And while all this is incredibly frightening, a couple of times today while I was reading, I just stopped and thought--this is actually completely doable. Yes, it is three hours of essays followed by 100 MC. And yes, there is another day of 100 MC, morning and afternoon. And yes, my head is going to explode with all this information. But this is totally doable.




And I'm going to do it.

Sunday afternoon study break

Studying for the Bar Exam is taking over my life. I mean...CONSUMING.

I go to work in the mornings, and study during down times. I come home and study until I go to bed. I wake up the next morning and start all over again.

People I talk to about being busy and (totally validly) afraid of failing, just shrug, toss their hands and say "aww you'll do fine." If only it were that easy.

I've read tons of blog posts from newly minted attorneys, and the mind-numbing fear they lived in for two months. There is just something very unique to this process that no one can understand. It is not like the GRE, the MCAT, the DAT, whatever other letter combo you can think of. This is the end-all be-all of exams. You take it for two, or three, days, depending on your state and then wait about two to three months for your score. Don't pass? You have to wait about 4 more months to take it again...but don't forget the $500-$900 fee to re-register.

Not to mention the fact you don't be working during that time. More unemployment...or minimum wage.

I have mental breakdowns on a regular basis. Lately it had been space between them but, now its down to about once a day. Something usually drives me to the edge and I call BC balling. (Not ballin', just balling. I wish I was ballin' though.)

I recently heard about our "self-control storage." Think about it. Maybe that's why we're so testy when we get home. We expend so much energy everyday not going crazy, yelling, screaming, kicking things at school/work/wherever, that when we get home at night, we're exhausted. I think there's where my breakdowns are coming from--I have so.much.stress that any little thing drives me to tears these days. Most recently--Friday: couldn't find anything to wear. Big pile of clothes on the floor. My life was ruined. BC again had to talk me off the ledge. (Figuratively, people....give me some credit, dang.)

So, I say all that to say this. If you know someone studying for a Bar Exam, say a lil prayer for them. It will be much appreciated, I promise you :)





P.S. BC said I was prose-cute :)