Sunday afternoon study break

Studying for the Bar Exam is taking over my life. I mean...CONSUMING.

I go to work in the mornings, and study during down times. I come home and study until I go to bed. I wake up the next morning and start all over again.

People I talk to about being busy and (totally validly) afraid of failing, just shrug, toss their hands and say "aww you'll do fine." If only it were that easy.

I've read tons of blog posts from newly minted attorneys, and the mind-numbing fear they lived in for two months. There is just something very unique to this process that no one can understand. It is not like the GRE, the MCAT, the DAT, whatever other letter combo you can think of. This is the end-all be-all of exams. You take it for two, or three, days, depending on your state and then wait about two to three months for your score. Don't pass? You have to wait about 4 more months to take it again...but don't forget the $500-$900 fee to re-register.

Not to mention the fact you don't be working during that time. More unemployment...or minimum wage.

I have mental breakdowns on a regular basis. Lately it had been space between them but, now its down to about once a day. Something usually drives me to the edge and I call BC balling. (Not ballin', just balling. I wish I was ballin' though.)

I recently heard about our "self-control storage." Think about it. Maybe that's why we're so testy when we get home. We expend so much energy everyday not going crazy, yelling, screaming, kicking things at school/work/wherever, that when we get home at night, we're exhausted. I think there's where my breakdowns are coming from--I have so.much.stress that any little thing drives me to tears these days. Most recently--Friday: couldn't find anything to wear. Big pile of clothes on the floor. My life was ruined. BC again had to talk me off the ledge. (Figuratively, people....give me some credit, dang.)

So, I say all that to say this. If you know someone studying for a Bar Exam, say a lil prayer for them. It will be much appreciated, I promise you :)

P.S. BC said I was prose-cute :)

1 comment:

Amie said...

Sorry about the breakdowns. They're not fun.

It is only June. You can afford to take a break. Not a really long one, or a really bad-for-you one, but you can take one. Go to the beach. Sit on a patio and enjoy a drink and conversation with a (non-lawyer) friend. Go for a run. Take a nap. Clean your bathroom. Bake cookies. Do whatever it takes for you to unwind a little and help yourself cope with tomorrow. You can do it.