If the cat wasn't the WHOLE way out of the bag, here it is: I failed the bar exam for the second time. Surprisingly, I wasn't as devastated this time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still balled my eyes out. But this time around, I had relied so very much more on the Lord, praying day in and day out I would pass. Which, I understand sounds selfish. But truly, that's not where my heart was. Its a very long story, and perhaps one day I'll get in to it. Suffice to say, I had grown as a child of God, and as an adult, quite a bit while I was waiting for my results. When I found out a couple days before my results came out that my blog/twitter friend Legally Fabulous didn't pass on her second time, I broke down and sobbed. I sobbed as only a person who has mutually felt that pain could cry. I have never met LF, and might never do so, but when you go through a rare experience that someone else has gone through, you still feel a connection to them through that. I cried for her, what she must be feeling, how hopeless it must feel to read the same results. I cried for me, the fear I had that the same might happen to me, the hopelessness I was struggling with, how I desired so badly to be licensed and make a difference and make my family feel more secure. Ultimately, I also didn't pass.
The short of it is that I got to keep my job. My boss told me later he was breaking the office rule by keeping me. I was eternally grateful. I am making about half of what I could as a licensed attorney at my office, and supporting myself, my husband who is in school, and now a little puppy who eats way too much. I was, and still am, very thankful to still have an income.
I got the scary call to meet with the big boss last week. I was told they were putting me out on leave without pay starting in June. That means no paycheck for two months. No money coming in. Zippo. The plus side, my job is being held for me, and August 1 I'll pick it right back up. Plus, I get time off to study for bar exam attempt #3. Down side: bills, bills, bills. While paying bills is important, passing this test is even more so.
Well that was depressing. In other news, we got a puppy! BC and I are now proud parents of sweet lil Coco. She is precious and sweet and we love her so much! But she has not gotten it though her lil tiny brain to not pee on the carpet. It is stressful. We found her at a local no-kill animal shelter, and she seriously stole our hearts immediately. She'll be 4 months old on the 23rd!
In the last picture she is wearing her Def Leppard t-shirt. She wears clothes like its nbd and I love it, of course. We've also had her buzzed for the summer since then, so she looks much different! I'll have to post some updated pictures.
Also, the 20th marks our 6 month wedding anniversary! Time flies so fast! We got out wedding video today, I cried when I watched it. I had so much fun that day, I would totally do it all over again :)
That's it for now. Bar review starts AGAIN tomorrow. This seriously better be it. I can't hardly take it anymore.