DELISH

I don't usually update THIS many times in a row, but I just have to share my new found love:

Jo's Candies, Dark Chocolate Salted Caramels.

People. This stuff is AMAZING. I cannot emphasize it enough. So far I've only been able to find it in packs of two (THE HORROR) at the World Market. And its a little pricey, so definitely a rare treat. I told BC today I never really indulged in anything delicious after results came out, so this was going to be part of it...I've had 4 so far today :)

I passed.

I have sat down so many times and thought--I need to update people. But things have been in the way.

Regardless...

I passed the bar exam!

There have been a lot of crazy days in the past few weeks. Results came out two weeks ago, on a Tuesday. This whole time, I didn't know what day they came out. After I went to Tampa I felt so bad about how the test went, I knew there was absolutely no way I passed.

In the meantime, I was working two part-time jobs. One I had worked off and on for the past 6 years (the owners are friends of mine) but the other job I basically hated. I learned a TON about myself and about how you should treat other people during this time though, so I know the Lord was teaching me a lot. A big lesson was that none of us is good, worthy, better, etc. We're all people and deserve to be treated with respect. Even the people who treat you like a complete idiot because you are behind a counter serving them. Even the people who have complete raging meltdowns at you because their coupon is out of date by two months. You know...those people.

Back to timelines. The Sunday night before results came out, I was laying in bed and these waves of anxiety were just running through my body. I felt like it was time to see when results came out. I checked the website and it said the next Tuesday. I was like...wow. Ok. Two days. The next day I went to work and tons of people from church came through my line. TONS. It was weird. I told my husband that I was worried what sort of omen that was!

Tuesday morning I woke up, made coffee, did some yoga in the living room and just hung out with my husband. Nothing major. A girl I knew who took the exam texted me and asked if I passed. Ummmm really? WHO DOES THAT? Especially when its someone you KNOW has failed several times!!! Listen, PSA here: Don't do that. Don't text someone and ask if they passed. Let them come to you. Just do that please.

Anyway, so I checked. I found my number and it said "PASS." I died. I screamed. I cried. I scream-sobbed. I collapsed on the floor. I ran around the house tearing up boxes looking for my number, just to check. Once it was finally confirmed many times over, my husband and I sat down, my a blubbery mess, and prayed. It was the only thing I could think to do. Pray and thank my Heavenly Father for His goodness. For not leaving me. For seeing me through. For teaching me things. For believing in me enough that I could handle all this. And knowing exactly how much I could handle before I completely lost my mind.

I'm here to tell you it can happen to you. You can fail. You can pass. It doesn't matter who you are, good and bad things happen to both good and bad people. But its all about how you handle it. Being a Christian doesn't mean its sunshine and butterflies 24/7. It means you rely on the Lord no matter what. That doesn't mean you don't cry out in anger in sadness. Or that you don't question and wonder out loud what is going on in your life. It means staying faithful through it all. Because there isn't any other choice.

If someone is going through this, bar exam or not, whatever, and you need to talk, please email me! I have heard from SO MANY people feeling completely alone because they have failed. Trust me, I KNOW how you feel. I know everything you are feeling. I've felt that way four times. People have criticized me a million times over for what I've done, how I've reacted, how I've studied, how I've remained faithful, how I've shared my heart, etc. But I don't share for the critics, I share for that person who is desperate to know they aren't alone.

I'm SO GRATEFUL for all the people I've met through this blogging process. In fact, I had a friend from Nevada (now Washington) send me flowers to congratulate me when I got my results! Besides the wonderful family and friends I have around me, I now have a worldwide circle of friends who have supported and prayed for me. I feel so loved and blessed :)

I've been without social media for like a week.

I feel like I live in the African Congo.

I broke today and logged into Facebook and Twitter. BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

I'm trying to stay super patient and be willing to accept whatever happens next week. NEXT WEEK. I WANNA DIE.

I've basically given myself two weeks to know everything in the universe. That's horrible to admit and if you're thinking "she's gonna fail again" well...I can't say I blame you. Cause I've thought it a lot too.

Anyway, I needed to be in touch with the world. I needed to feel like people haven't forgotten about me.

I don't know if I can actually express in words how ready I am to move on with my life. Anddddd I guess I just did.

Oh Summery Judgment, how terribly neglected you are.

There are tons of stories that swirl around in my head. Things I'd like to share with all of you. Crazy stuff that happens to me in cashier-land, funny things Coco does, fears about THE TEST, etc. But somehow it never makes it on here.

I almost feel obligated, of sorts, to keep this up. I know there are several people out there who are going through an "I failed the bar exam" crisis and are looking for an outlet. More so than answer.com would say "You won't fail the bar, all you have to make is a D!"

Its ok, I've been there.

Several times.

Still, life moves on. In the process you may have to make decisions about your life. Is this really what you want to do? Is your heart leading you in a different career direction? (Confession...before I typed "career" I typed "job." There's a lesson in that I think.)

I get emails from time to time from people who say they read my blog and are thinking about me/praying for me, etc. Its very encouraging and I'm hoping they get a bit of encouragement here as well. I've never tried to mask what I feel...I've felt everything from rage to peace about this whole ride. I think that's important.

I met with my old tutor briefly on Saturday to get some tips about my essay writing. Basically, the first 20 minutes were devoted to him yelling at me about what I haven't done. (He gets me.) (Also: this is a good thing.) The reason this tutor works is because he basically gets down to the basics of everyone's issues and he hones in on them until you can't hide behind it anymore. Its fascinating, really. Anyway, my biggest problems are not organizing well enough, writing WAY TOO DANG MUCH, and not getting the buzzwords in. (CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE TO DISCUSS HOW MUCH I HATE THE WORD "BUZZWORD")

I'm thankful I only have to pass one part (one tiny glimmer of goodness from the state of Florida) and am praying I can get that magical 136 when I only have one section to depend on. Frankly the FL section terrifies me, and I'd much rather only have the MBE to tackle, but whatevs.

I put in my time off yesterday. I'm asking for essentially 3 weeks. I know its a long shot but good grief, I can't take this test anymore. I admitted to my boss this was my 5th try. Super embarrassing. I told her I have to pass. No more chances.

For today, however, I'm working. And thankful for the little tiny pay checks that have begun to roll in. The Lord is doing something huge here....I don't know what, but good grief, I'll be glad when I finally find out what it is.

Moving through

33 days left until the test starts.

I feel it, I really do. To be honest, I've had a really hard time being motivated this summer. The weird thing was, its not like I was putting it off....its more like--I just don't care to do anything. I didn't feel stressed about it at all.

Its recently begun to hit me more. I've felt the pressure to be more motivated. It wavers between "I can do this, its only one part" to "omg omg omg its the freaking end of June." My husband is trying to finish a very important Advanced Calculus class so he can get into his program and move on with his scholastic plan, so we're both a little stressed. Honestly, while he's been in the trenches with this calculus class, I've been content to just take care of him and the house and not even think about the bar. But my avoidance of my own issues can only last for so long.

Recently I've been feeling friends-type voids in my life. Most of the young couples at church have jobs and lives and it seems like we don't have much in common. Or they have kids, which means we have NOTHING in common. I recently reconnected with an old friend who now lives out west, and that has been really wonderful. We were estranged for a while for a variety of reasons, but we've talked more in the past few days than we have in probably a year and I realized that I missed it! We all need those types of people in our lives.

Work has been interesting. I haven't gotten a ton of hours, which is totally fine with me because it means more study time. I've really been struggling with not being super smug while working or embarrassed to be working there. When lawyers I've worked for/with/against, come through my line, I get very embarrassed and don't make eye contract. None have recognized me. I have a very unflattering uniform I have to wear and basically customers think because I'm a cashier, I'm dumber than a rock. Which we all know that isn't true, especially these days when all sorts of people take all sorts of jobs to make ends meet. I had a customer last week make some comment on my intelligence level IN FRONT OF ME and it took all I had not to climb over the counter and punch her in the face. Some days, when I hand people their receipt, I want to be like, "have a good day, I have a doctorate degree."

But of course I don't say anything. I just call BC on my break and cry and complain and I get my life back together and eat my PB&J and go back to work. I try to remember each day that I am supposed to be working hard for the Lord and not for men...which is not exactly what I'm doing. When I'm searching for that smuggy satisfaction that people need to recognize my brilliance, my motives aren't sincere and my efforts will not be blessed. How can I expect the Lord to bless my pursuits when I'm being egotistical and narcissistic?

Back to the bar. I came across a possible tutor for the FL portion the other day, but after talking, I'm not sure he's going to work out. Sometimes that happens, and you just have to be open to finding people who (1) mesh with your learning style and (2) you trust to help you succeed. I got some valuable input from him, however, and that's helped to shape how I'm studying now. I've been going over a different topic each day, just trying to get as far as I can, and do as much as a can, before moving on to something else. There are so many topics to cover for FL, so hopefully this tactic won't work against me.

I received an e-mail today (hi Kathryn!) who is retaking the FL bar, MBE section only. Despite how awful I feel for people who are retaking (being a 5th timer myself, I hate that ANYONE has to suffer more than once), it is helpful to be able to commiserate with others who have gone through/are going through the same sorts of things, especially in the same state. The encouragement is truly invaluable. The friend I went to Tampa with in February is retaking half as well again and we met up to study yesterday--it turned into mostly swapping stories and encouraging each other for an hour or so. Those sorts of things are very important, I think. When it seems like everyone else has passed you by and you're the only one left after everyone else has passed and you're still studying and unemployed and hating life....yeah, those chats become pretty important. Its so easy to get bogged down and feel like nothing will change by retaking the test, but it will! Just keep telling yourself IT WILL GET BETTER.

Ok, this is really long. This is what happens when I don't blog more often. Plus, you caught me on a super upbeat day, so don't get used to this kind of attitude :)

If you are the praying type, I sure could use it these days!

Anticlimactic

I didn't pass. I mean, I did, sort of, but not totally. I passed the MBE and failed FL. I'm trying again for the 5th time this July.

At this point, its whatever. That was...a month ago? I don't know. I've accepted and moved on.

I had grandiose plans to spill my heart all over this blog about introspection and what not, but that's all gone now.

I got a part time job at a grocery store a couple days a week while I study (WOOOO $9 AN HOURRRRR). I should start next week. I'm still working at the monogram shop too, slapping monograms all over everything I own.

In other news, I've lost like 10 pounds since Easter. That rocks. About a week ago I bought a $10 pair of jeans at the Loft. While that alone is awesome, it was in a size I'm pretty sure I've never been. It felt amazing and still feel amazing when I put them on. Now that I've got a smidge of weight off, I'm hoping to get back to running.

Husband is taking summer classes, one being Spanish. I knew some Spanish once, so its fun relearning it with him. We have little conversations about colors and classmates and family members and traveling.

Also, in case you live on Mars, its the NBA playoffs. While I'm a lil sad that the Mavs aren't in it this year, I'm all about ABH now--Anybody But the Heat. There's just something about LeBron James that deserves a face punch. Plus, can we just all agree that Dwyane Wade has a misspelled name? Yes? Ok, thank you.

In the Ones Now

Well friends and neighbors, we're getting closer and closer to THE day. 17 days left, as of today. I don't think about it as much, and I guess that's because I'm not working in the legal field at the moment. Not working the the legal field everyday equals not having people ask you "SO WHEN'S THE BIG DAY?!" at every possible moment.

I've still been begging for hours at the monogram shop and have worked a few hours here and there. I'm still checking up on that legal job I told y'all about. I called yesterday and found out the attorney had a death in the family and is out for an unknown amount of time. So we keep waiting. His secretary did say she gave my resume and info to him and he's considering it. But I don't know if that was just her being nice or what. Either way, PATIENCE. Ugh.

Patience has truly been a huge lesson for me lately. Everything I'm reason has been about waiting on the Lord. It's not my nature, by any means, but I know that there is an important reason for all the waiting. Waiting to finish school. Waiting to find my husband. Waiting to pass the bar. Waiting to find a job. Waiting. But I know the Lord has a purpose for my life. And if I've learned anything through all this, it's that God has a plan and He is going to see it through.

I can't wait to see where it all ends up :)

New Opportunities?

So I've been on the hunt for jobs, and trying to be a little unconventional. I've had several suggestions to be more forward with employers and basically call them up and say, I'm a good fit for your firm, can I come and interview with you.

While this is utterly terrifying for me, I recently had the opportunity to find out that a local firm was hiring. The firm only has four attorneys in it, but I found out from one of the main partner's wives (i.e. his name is on the sign) that they might be hiring another attorney because they have an excess of work.

In the interest of brevity, I called yesterday and the attorney called me back today. After some discussion, and telling him I a) just took the bar exam, b) have only worked in criminal law, and c) only have experience in civil litigation through law school competitions and clinics, he asked me to send him a resume. He then proceeded to tell me they have been in talked with but "hadn't closed the deal" with an attorney with 3 years experience. Being up against that person doesn't leave me with much hope, but I guess its a good thing he still asked for a resume after learning I have no experience doing what they do. I mean, I guess he could have just said thanks but no thanks.

So, in the meantime, I've been working on my confidence and trust and trying to embrace my full potential. I got really upset a few days ago at feeling really left out with a certain group of people. One person in particular I don't really care for all that much, and that made me even more upset. I felt the need to try to be super happy, excited, etc., to fit in, despite not being included. After talking with BC, if people don't want to spend time with me, so be it. Honestly I'm kinda tired of trying SO HARD to fit in. By the same token, I've got a lot of "me" things to work on--specifically learning to put myself out there and not worry about what other people think. I used to be confident and it went away. I want to find it again.

Also, last thing--as of yesterday, I'm officially training for a half-marathon!! I'm so excited!!

My letter to Delilah

I left for Tampa for the bar exam on Monday the 27th. I drove with another girl I met who was re-taking Florida for the first time. We left Tampa immediately after the MBE portion on Wednesday. While on the drive we scoured the radio searching for fun stuff to listen to. We ended up listening to the Delilah show because that was pretty much all we could find that wasn't rap or country (welcome to Florida).

If you've listened to the Delilah show, you know she is syndicated and is like the #1 woman in radio ever of all time, or something. I usually just hear her at Christmas, but apparently she's on year-round. So around 9:30 pm, while we were listening, she took this caller. He was in his 20s and was complaining about not being able to get a girl to go out with him. (Clearly not, if you're calling Delilah at 10pm.) Come to find out, this girl already had a boyfriend, the caller just wanted her to break up with that boyfriend for the caller! And she wouldn't! Shock of all shocks! Delilah was like...ummm...ok. Song he requested? "Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson. If you're keeping count, so far we have at least 4 reasons why its clear this dude wasn't going to get with this girl.

So, I told my friend--we should totally call her. We're on our way back from the bar exam (so we're clearly brilliant), we're WAY more awesome than that dude, and we'll probably be the raddest people she'll talk to this week. So I called. And called. And called. And called. Busy signal, busy signal, busy signal. Go figure. My friend said she heard one time that she gets so many callers that people actually organize the call and schedule you a time. I told her--if they schedule people, she must REALLY be hurting for callers if THAT guy gets through!

So we emailed instead. Now keep in mind we were basically delerious. We had gone straight from bar exam to the car for about seven hours. Add in about 2 months of not sleeping or eating well, etc etc. You people know this. I'm not telling you anyone new.

So, we had a serious case of the giggles when we wrote this.

Also, when you go to her website, there is a section called something like--Got a Dilemma? Ask Delilah! Or something like that.

Here ya go:

Delilah. Here is my dilemma. I tried to call you on the phone and it was busy. I guess you only have one phone line, but that's okay because I do too. Anyways, my friend and I are driving back from the Florida Bar Exam as I type this. Don't worry, she is driving and that is why I am typing. We just heard some guy call in and talk about wanting a song request because he asked out a girl that refused to break up or cheat on her boyfriend with this dude. We think she chose well because he requested a Kelly Clarkson song. I mean, what dude does that at 9:30 on a Wednesday night. But I digress. He was a lame caller. We, however, basically would have been the two coolest people you will have talked to probably so far this week. I'm bummed we didn't get to chat. My phone only has 18% power left and I couldn't keep calling to try to get through. I think we were going to request What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger by Kelly, mostly because she seemed like the lady of the hour after that dude called. Either that song or I'll Be Home for Christmas by Michael Buble, because we're on our way home from Tampa and we like Christmas a lot.

Ok, well, maybe one day in the future we'll try to call again. Holla!

AC

So, a little silly, but we were laughing our heads off. I mean, literally everything in this email was a huge joke. We weren't quite sure ho she'd take it, but we figured it was funny, maybe she'd laugh. Whatever. Or maybe she'd call and be like--of COURSE I want you on my show DUHHH!

Well you guys....she emailed me back!

I couldn't hardly believe it.

For someone to be as popular as she is, I honestly thought she'd read that, think we were dumb, and press delete. But oh no my friends! Here is the response:

AC, I look forward to your call in the future.

And just so you know...I have 12 phone lines and 10 million listeners all fighting for those lines.

God bless Honey

Y'all I was DYING at this email. I sent it to my friend, and she sent back "lolllllll omg"

Just so you know, Delilah is SOOOOOO popular.  Also, the little addition of "God bless Honey" was the result of one of two things: 1) she thinks I have mental problems or 2) she thought I was being super duper sarcastic and wanted to throw it right back.

Well guess what Delilah you are SEW WRAWNG. We seriously were just having fun...and her response totally capped it off. I'm still lololololing.

I'm back!

What a hiatus, huh?

Its been awhile.

I've been off studying and bar examining. I really didn't want this to become a bar exam blog--I DO have a life outside of all that, after all.

I'll go into my experience this February at some point, but I almost don't want to without having results first. I feel like I want to know whether I was successful with my studying this time before I divulge my experience.

In the meantime, I'm job searching. I honestly don't know how to go about it. I mean, how do people even "get" jobs anymore? The last state job I had was procured by friends and former employers that pulled strings for me. During my 3L year, I sent a cover letter/resume combo to every firm in my hometown and some to surrounding cities--everything from one or two people, all the way to the big ones. I probably sent around 70 out. I got two responses of No. Just two. 68 firms completely ignored me.

Granted, that was 3L year. Who wants to risk it on a graduating law student. I felt pretty valuable at that point, mostly because I had just come out of some very successful trial competitions, had good summer experience, and was returning to an area I planned on staying in. (I have been told by family friends that are attorneys that, as a hiring criteria, they like to see locals returning because it means less of a chance for turnover in the future.) Additionally, at that point I hadn't gotten the opportunity to fail the bar exam 3 times. So...yeah. I thought I looked kinda ok.

Ultimately, I got nothing except those two letters. Now I'm terrified to start this process again. In the past bar administrations, it wasn't that big of a deal because I still had my job waiting for me. No need to job search and stress because I had a pretty rad employer who kept saying he'd keep me around to try again. Except this time because, well, 3 chances is a lot to give and more than I should have gotten. Now I'm scared that people are going to take one look at my resume and see "graduated: May 2010, bar passage: April 2012" (being optimistic here people) and go NOPE SHE'S STUPID and move to the next resume. I know I can't let that stop me, but its literally makes me SO NERVOUS.

I've been trying to talk to people I know, hoping that maybe something might come up again. Since this bar exam debacle, I've gotten a lot better at relying on God and His timing. Or at least I hope I have. I know I should be super upset about all this, but for some reason, I'm still pretty calm about it. I definitely feel some sense of urgency, but I'm not freaking out. Maybe its because results aren't in yet. I don't know.

If anyone has any attorney-related job searching tips they'd like to pass along, I'd greatly appreciate it. like I said, I've never gotten a job based off my excellent cover letter writing skills before, so I'm not exactly sure what people are looking for once an attorney is out in the world and not fresh out of law school.  

Much Better

So, after a very dramatic previous blog post, I have to say, I'm doing much better. Even though my quiz grades are not stellar, I've been getting a lot of encouragement from my tutor, and that makes me feel better. When I start to get overwhelmed about not doing as much work as I would like, I try to repeat what he has been telling me this whole time--you can't fix what is in the past, you can only make the best out of the time you have at this very second, don't focus on what's coming tomorrow. Anyway, it helps.

I gchatted the other day with LF and Rachel. Rachel and I are using the same tutor that LF used (with hopefully the same results!!!) and were swapping stories, including mutual breakdowns. LF was checking in on me to (I think) make sure I hadn't hurled myself off the closest high-rise. Being able to commiserate with other non-passers definitely helps. While you are unwillingly shoved into this group of people that no one wants to be in, of course, it is amazing the sort of support you are able to find. Its one thing for some person just to say, awww I'm so sorry you didn't pass. Its quite another for someone who actually didn't pass to say, I'm so sorry you didn't pass. They understand what its like to study and not achieve. To have your life put on hold while you shell out another $1000+ to move past what others already have. To feel like a failure. People I've never even met before are concerned about me and my well being. I am so incredibly grateful! (I have to put here, I'm grateful for all the people who are concerned about me, passers and non-passers alike, including non-lawyery people.) I've already told BC when this is all over, we're going to be taking lots of trips to visit these people so I can hug them all.

I've gotten involved with an online Bible Study group with Brittany, Amanda, and Jenna. I've really enjoyed it, and its forced me to be super accountable. We don't all do the same study, its more just for accountability purposes, and sharing things we're learning with other ladies. I'm currently going through David: 90 Days With a Heart Like His by Beth Moore. Since pretty much every woman I go to church with is either (1) my age and a mom or (2) not a mom but way younger than me, its nice to swap life junk with women who are both my age and not in mommy land yet.

In other news, I got my hairz highlighted yesterday. It was an AMAZING experience. I haven't gotten my hair done, in, I don't know, 7-ish months? Something like FOREVER ago. It was mostly because of money issues. Oddly enough, the darker my hair got, the more depressed I became. Perhaps it was a constant reminder of how poor I was? How I totally should have asked for a hair appt for Christmas? How I should have saved my Christmas money instead of spending it on, good grief I don't know, a million Dr. Peppers to and from NC on our Christmas vacation? I mean, seriously, how does cash go so freaking quickly out of my pocket???? WHAT THE HECK DO I SPEND IT ON ALL THE TIME.

My husband's parents were gracious enough to send us some money to help out with bills and so my husband could get some more contacts and glasses--definitely a necessity that unfortunately borders on a luxury these days. Since they were SO gracious, my husband told me to take some money to go get my hair done. I was literally ECSTATIC. Ever since then I've been in the best mood ever. Its amazing what getting your hair spruced up will do to a mood.

Welp, enough of all this. If I'm ever going to pass, I've got to get to work! Holla!

I didn't want this to become a bar blog. I would love for this to be an anything-but-the-bar blog. But that's whats going on right now.

I'm really struggling right now becuase I am not understanding anything. I have seen this freaking stuff four times. FOUR TIMES. How stupid do you have to be to not get something after four times??? I read this stuff, and I recognize it, I totally recognize it. But its completely foreign to me. Like it never actually sinks in. I turn around and do practice questions and its like nothing.

I had a good session (or so I thought) with my tutor on hearsay on Monday. So good, that he told me he thought I did amazing. He sent me some questions to do. I got them back and got over half of them wrong. The worst part was going back over the answers. I mean, I can see where those answers are right but I clearly thought mine were originally right. If I took that same test in a few weeks, I don't think I would do any better than I did the other day.

That's terrifying.

How am I actually ever going to pass this thing? I'm doing as well right now as I've pretty much done every other time. I'm all out of chances. My parents have spent $3000 on bar exams. $4000 on hotels. $3000 on a tutor. And for what? A failure for a child. They're also paying pretty much everything for us. I can't work, I can't find a job that will work around this insane schedule. My husband is in school full time. And its all my fault. We actually, literally, wouldn't be able to survive if they didn't do all this. No, I take that back. Without their help, I never would have made it past July 2010. I would have had to get a job, move on, and take it some other time.

What am I complaining for, right? I am taken care of.

True.

Sometimes its hard to see all that when you feel completely hopeless.

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow morning, that's usually how these things go. But I have felt just so dang depressed today. Seeing no improvement in my scores, in my ability to remember anything. Its distressing. I fell like I've done nothing but waste more money, more time. 

And I'm really afraid this time the result is going to be exactly the same.

#14

(ESPN)

ROLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIDE ROLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

Time to turn those helmets to #14!!! 

Still around

Pretty sure I'm the most boring blogger ever these days. Saw someone took me off their must read list and that made me sad.

Not much besides bar review going on around here...except this time I have a tutor thrown in who yells at me. I think its working.

Been sick all Christmas vacation and now I think I have a stomach virus? I got super dehydrated today, so NOT COOL.

My neighbors douchey parents are in town and his dad ran out of the house the other day screaming at me to pick up my dog's poop. I was nice though and said I was going to get the poop bags. He'll have to answer for his horrible attitude. Except now I find myself thinking of awesome snarky things to say to him and I know I just need to go back and live in my own little world.

Stayed in pjs mostly these days. Its not too rough of a life. Except that whole no income thing.

We're back on the diet train after Christmas. I gained 5, COUNT THEM FIVE, pounds while at me IL's house. Of course every single pound was worth it because it was amazing food. But I could not deal with 5 pounds in a week! As of today, I've got it all back off and the tiniest smidge more, and I'm hoping to continue the downward trend. Honestly, I haven't exercised a morsel yet, besides walking, we've just been cutting calories. It jumpstarts the process nicely.

Before we did that, though, we had to polish off the remaining box of these:

OMG DEWEY'S OATMEAL CREAM COOKIES NOM NOM NOM. These things are so truly amazing in delicious I cannot even do them justice. They are from a local bakery in NC where my husband is from and my IL's got two boxes of them while we were there and sent them back with us. I'm pretty sure the boxes came with "make sure you share these with your parents" but I'm sorry....they didn't make it that far really. We split one with them one night when they came over for dinner, but only because we had eaten the rest. Whoops :-/

In other news, Coco is acting bananas lately. She's had some bad run-ins with dogs recently, including one neighbors dog who ran out of its house and right up to her and jumped in her face, and so now she freaks out at every little tiny noise. We tried to bring her to the groomers yesterday, and she growled at the lady, which she never does, so we went home. We got her a Thundershirt, but every time we put it on, she just freezes in place and acts super weird. I don't know. She was never like this before, I think she just has some major anxiety issues all of a sudden. The groomer said it might be good just to bring her by and have hem give her treats and then go home, just to get her used to being around people without anxiety. She suggested a trainer too, just to work with Coco and help her be around dogs that are calm.

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